I want to share some recent inner insights that have come to me.

Life is such an incredible dance. It is meant to be filled with individual ups and downs that encourage inner growth and spiritual awakening. All of us have our own unique experience to live. Unique lessons to learn, in unique ways. Life was never meant to hurt us, but to wake us up. Through suffering, sometimes, yes this is true. But this is a matter of perception and how we choose to look at our life.

My life started with an illness at age 13, and from that moment my fight to reclaim my health and power ultimately began. I have felt disappointment, anger, bitterness, and I have felt so much unfairness, and every single day has been a fight. On so many levels. My life broke down at such a fragile age when it was meant to start. I saw people around me, at my age, in full strength, blossoming into young women and men all around me. But my life felt like a battle. Every single day. Somehow I managed to look strong and act strong. But my inner world was trapped with defeat, self-blame and such a strong feeling of lack.

I lived a pretty wild life, moved away from home, travelled, and tried coping with my illness to my best ability.

The turning point came when I started my studies in London. I was 28 years old and I had quit my job as a cocktail bartender and I decided to study health science and Naturopathy. Then, when moving back home again to Sweden a few years later, I found Ayurveda and later on also Yoga and Tantra.

I found an incredible healer to whom I still go once a month, and I started to really explore and understand my inner world. My wounds, my illness and my early upbringing.

Though at first these three beautiful pillars, Yoga, Ayurveda and Tantra, were only ways of healing and ways of facing myself and my inner wounds, they later on became my biggest love affairs up until this day.

There is so much wisdom in these traditions. So much potential and so many spiritual gems to use and incorporate into your life.

For me personally, my illness brought me on a frantic journey of finding tools, methods and techniques to make me strong. Stronger than I felt anyway. Having lived all my life with a very debilitating condition, all I ever really wanted was to feel strong, capable and vital.

For nearly 20 years now this has been my way of life. Silent retreats, ceremonies, intense detox methods, bodywork sessions and healing. You name it, and I have probably tried it.

My mind and my emotions are much stronger these days. My body still lives with its illness. I have found a way to accept it and learned how to live with it.

However, after a recent trip to India with strong intentions for physical healing, I wanted to become a bit more fit and release some spinal tension.

God was very wise. He listened very wisely to my intention and gave me exactly what I needed. Just not in the way that I thought. He had other plans. After that trip things started to unfold in my life. One piece after another slowly came together, and every single day after that trip I listen to His clear, loving and soothing instructions. They are so filled with love and I finally get it. Absolutely everything that has happened to me, and in my life, including my illness, was meant to happen and I have been doing absolutely everything right. There was nothing I could have done differently. It was just right. Completely perfect. I was not put here on earth to live a little ordinary life. I was meant to awaken this life. I am not claiming to be awakened. Absolutely not. But I am awakening, through living my life. Through God and with the beautiful help of Yoga, Ayurveda and Tantra.

I have always had faith. I believe I was forced into developing faith. Everything else was ripped away from me. Faith was all I had. A deep-rooted faith in life and in God. Had I never fallen ill I would never have fallen in love with life. It is such an insane paradox, but in my case the feeling of having lost my health was what sparked me to fully live. All I ever wanted was to feel life. To feel what everyone felt when all I felt was sorrow. My personal battles became my light. My guide. My intense longing to feel alive, to feel the love and light from God.

However, in the process of finding ways of powering through, I forced myself to stay strong, to stay alive. This is a very tiresome way to live life. The fear of never fully letting go, from the fear of never being able to stand up again if I relaxed, surrendered and softened. So many years of fight hardened me and I have finally come to the beautiful conclusion that I am strong enough. I have fought enough battles in my life. Now it is time to soften. It is time to relax. I am allowed to be vulnerable, raw and gentle. I know and I feel that deep down to my core I am strong enough. Strong enough to surrender.

This is a very enlightening feeling. Oh, my eyes tear up from joy and relief from this embodied knowing. I feel a sense of sensual and erotic awakening that I never knew existed. As a woman, and as a healer & therapist myself, I definitely know that my own journey has made me a compassionate and empathic healer.

Now I fully trust my own ability to combine my strength and softness and I can’t wait to integrate this into my life.

The combined energy of mental clarity, focus and some control, together with compassion, a lot of gratitude for my life and now also a new softness and a new feeling of trusting and letting go fully. Life can carry me when I melt. I can get up again when I surrender and it is possible to be both strong and soft all together in a beautiful and embodied way.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is my new energy. I know how to fight inner battles, I have done so myself for the majority of my life. I also know that it is exactly what I was meant to do in order to arrive here, where I am today.

Yoga, Ayurveda and Tantra are not just something that I work with. It is what I have myself lived and healed through. There really are no shortcuts. We are meant to go through what we are meant to go through. It is so humbling for me to do what I do. Each and every single one of my clients reminds me of this. The beauty and incredible power of the human awakening process.

When you come to me for your session, know that I am not perfect, but I am human. I believe I am very human and this is something so spiritual and something so remarkable to be cherished and never wasted. We truly must trust our process. Our own unique worldly and spiritual journey. It is unfolding exactly in the way it was planned. God is our loving guide and He wants us back with Him. All we have to do do is keep faith, do the work and remember the beauty of life.

With love / Radhika.